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My Fate As A Popular YouTuber
As someone who is extremely introverted, being in highly active social situations is both draining and anxiety inducing. This issue is accentuated when you're popular enough that your fan chat is so active that you can barely keep up with everything that's being said.

This is something I knew was inevitable as I continued to grow my userbase on YouTube, and while it hasn't officially gotten to that point; where my chat is always this active, it's getting closer and closer. My greatest fear with this is that I'm slowly going to lose connection with my fans as the chat becomes a wall of noise that I simply can't mentally keep up with.

I crave deep, intimate connection with people because despite everything, I'm lonely and also very emotional. But people also drain my mental energy, so it's very possible that I may have to stop interacting with the chat from now on - or do it less - just so I don't feel overwhelmed anymore.

On one hand, I like this, because I enjoy my alone time, and it also makes me more willing to do my alone time activities such as working on projects. On the other, I worry that what the future holds for me is the removal of one of the key things so many of my fans like about me; that I am humble and caring enough to take time out of my day and have a friendly conversation with them.

I don't know what to do. All I know is that I want to stay my path, creating content, working on projects, and making decent pay from my videos. I'll either find a way to fix the problem, or accept the pedestal as my fate.

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