Old Fire Mumblem: Episode 2: Episode 2: Part 2: Survival of the Buffest

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We start things off with a very nice level. Defense! See Lyn? Squishies can gain defense! You can too!

MarkyJoe Said:
I think Nino's defense growth is actually higher than Lyn's in this hack.

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Wil can't even one-shot the pegs, which removes what usefulness he could have had in this chapter.

However, this kill gets him a level! Surely, now he should finally be-

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Welp!

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Okay, we're still hanging around the forests, just trying to survive until this crazy assault breaks!

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Pegs attack Wil. Now he's injured!

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Evil Lyn: Great job, but now I'm afraid that you must make it past me now. Do you have what it takes?

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AND SO BEGINS THE GREAT yeah that quote was kinda unfitting.

MarkyJoe Said:
The boss quote triggers when the battle screen is brought up, regardless of what's going on.

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I thought things would be better this turn. I WAS WRONG.

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At least Hector continues to gain THWOMP powers.

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This is Lyn, scoping out potential slaves to make more hair products for her.

MarkyJoe Said:
Lyn's pose fits that line perfectly. XP

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Because she certainly can't do anything else!

MarkyJoe Said:
Can't wait for Fire Mumblem: Revised Edition where the exact opposite will be true!

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Like dodging. She can't do that!

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I thought he was boxed in for a minute, but luckily, he's okay.

MarkyJoe Said:
Y'know, that kind of thing is hilarious. I remember my first playthrough of Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones where I was playing the desert chapter, and Innes got completely surrounded by pegasus riders, unable to move.

Must be a metaphor for guys who are surrounded by beautiful, scantily-clad women.

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Eliwood does the MIRACLE CAPE SWISH, albeit unnecessarily.

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Hector trips due to trying to do the Hectorcopter too early, and misses as a result.

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We...we actually did it! They're just about cleared out!

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BURN.

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Boy Markyjoe, you asked for speed, and you're getting it!

MarkyJoe Said:
Awesome! =P

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Evil Lyn continues healing, leaving her circle of knights to do so.

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Meanwhile, we now must walk across the empty map! HOORAY!

MarkyJoe Said:
It took me a very long time to learn that big maps = bad.

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The enemies fail to kill us.

A LONG CHAIN OF HEALING AND INJURING LATER

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I SOMEHOW don't think she was intended to get this close!

MarkyJoe Said:
Pretty impressive that she managed to get all the way over there. The AI has a habit of moving into random spots when healing allies with physic.

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You suck SO much, Wil.

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You too, Lyn!

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Okay, now Nino needs to lure her out.

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Which she does!

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Chip!

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You got the EXACT SAME bad level, TWICE IN A ROW.

Why?

Now, there's only person who can be allowed to get the kill...

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Lyn: What the!? Another me!?

Evil Lyn: Yup. Quite a plot twist, Huh?

Lyn: But... that's impossible! How could there be another me!?

Evil Lyn: Sigh... Are you even half aware that we're in a mod?

Lyn: ...Yes I am.

Evil Lyn: Exactly. So wouldn't something like this make SENSE?

Lyn: ...

Evil Lyn: Eh. Like it matters anyway. I doubt you are capable of surviving a single hit from my magical attacks.

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Uh, crap! Uhhh...

MarkyJoe Said:
Man. This boss quote is lame. Revised Edition has a way better exchange between the two Lyns.

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JUST ENOUGH!

Why, yes, that WAS a very intelligent move on my part! Good job, me!

Anyways, Lyn totally owns Cae-Lyn.

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Evil Lyn: Nngh! Ow! Mango! That really mango hurts!

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GASP! An actually good level! But...no defense...

MarkyJoe Said:
Lyn is more or less there for sex appeal. She got HP so she lasts longer in bed, strength so she gives it to ya harder, resistance to make her less submissive, and speed to... well, you know.

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Now we just have to take care of the knight circle.

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Oh yes! I found it! The perfect place to train Wil!

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Critting? Now? Really?

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I don't let him get ALL the kills, of course. Hector gets some too!

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...Then again...

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This is the part where I realize why my strategy can't work.

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Shops time!

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Nothing too remarkable, but I use just about all of my remaining cash on this thunder, because Nino totally needs it.

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After restoring my funds with Raven's gem, I realize that the armory has an amazing inventory of mostly useless stuff! Sorry, I'm not gonna spend tons of money on effective weapons and magic swords!

MarkyJoe Said:
Duuuuude! Light Brands are really good! Plus your Lyn would greatly benefit from having a way to avoid counter attacks!

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And there goes the last knight!

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Wow, my feelings exactly!

Hector: Mango yeah! That Lyn didn't stand a chance!

Lyn: ...

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Hector: Aaaah! Eliwood! Behind you! It's a noob!

Eliwood: Oh?

Evil Lyn: Eeek!

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I'm not sure I understand this.

MarkyJoe Said:
I dunno. It's supposed to show Evil Lyn's still alive? Hector and Eliwood's reactions don't really fit though.

Hector: Pssh! We'll let her live for now. Next time we meet though... I'm sticking my axe up her hot cookies!

Lyn: Hector!

Hector: Hey Eliwood. Wanna get stonecold soberd?

MarkyJoe Said:
The way Hector abruptly brings this up... I think it's super funny! Plus he just completely ignores Lyn.

Eliwood: Would I? I'd love to!

Hector: Yeah!

Eliwood! Yeah!

Hector: Yeah!

Eliwood: Yeah!

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I'd like to let you all know that this is very in-character.

MarkyJoe Said:
I don't like Lyn very much, so Hector and Eliwood get most of the jokes, with Lyn just reacting to their antics.

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This is surprisingly real.

Raven: Mnn... Not exactly proud of your stat growths, huh Wil?

Wil: *sigh* Rebecca outclasses me by a longshot...

PUNS!

Raven: Eh... who knows? Maybe our stat growths changed in this mod

Wil: Really!? Awesome! Let's go get some root booze to celebrate!

Raven: Alright! Root booze!

Sorry Wil, I don't think your growths were changed.

MarkyJoe Said:
I'm starting to think so too... >_<

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NEXT TIME: Eliwood and co's adventure through the MASSIVE MAP OF MASSIVENESS

MarkyJoe Said:
Hoo boy... Next time, the chapter that began the downward spiral with my friendship with BuringPenitentEngine. This is where things are gonna get a bit depressing.
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